


Down in the Cloud

by SpiderShell



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Depressed Peter Parker, Gen, Midnight writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29068131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiderShell/pseuds/SpiderShell
Summary: Heshouldn'tfeel like this, he knows he shouldn't. There's absolutely no reason why these thoughts keep returning to plague his mind, but yet, here they are.
Kudos: 3





	Down in the Cloud

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** detailed descriptions of depressed thoughts. Please stop right here if this disturbs you. 
> 
> Stay safe!!

He _shouldn't_ feel like this, he knows he shouldn't. There's absolutely no reason why these thoughts keep returning to plague his mind, but yet, here they are. His life isn't perfect, but nothing has ever happened to make him feel this way. He's on top of his school work, he has good friends, his guardians love him. There's no valid reason why his self-worth has plummeted, why he constantly berates himself for everything he says or does, why he always skips meals at every opportunity and watches the flatness of his stomach like a hawk.

He's scared, now. 

He's scared that he'll never be able to get out this dark cloud that traps him. He's scared that he'll need pills. He's scared that one day, it'll be too much and he'll end it all. But that's not what he wants.

Most of all, he's scared that no one takes him and his feelings seriously. People have told him that it's just his hormones, which is probably true - after all, the adults know more than him -, but he doesn't understand _why._

He's been growing apathetic lately. None of the things that interested him and that he loved in the past interest him anymore, save writing. Writing is his therapy now that he no longer tells his friends how he feels. 

His friends are one of the best things that have ever happened to him. They talk every day, and when it's break time, most of the day. He loves talking to his friends because they help him to forget his real feelings for a time. They have no idea how important they are to him. They’ve grounded him more times that he could count.

He never tells anyone how he really feels. He tells himself that he's actually fine and doesn't need to tell anyone, but in reality, he's scared that they will tell him to talk to a therapist or take pills or be emitted into a hospital. There's no way in _hell_ he wants to share his feelings with a random person. 

In the end, he knows that he has to keep fighting. The people in his life need him, despite what he feels deep down, and he has to keep going, pretending to be fine. He begs the stress to drown itself and tries to forget about it, even though it never does. Maybe someday he’ll finally get some relief. But for now, he has to take a deep breath and keep moving forward. Life’s more than just a few ups or downs, he tells himself. 

He has to stay strong. 

For everyone.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at midnight a couple weeks ago when I couldn't get to sleep 😂. Anyways, I hope you guys are all alright. I'm sending hugs to those of you who need them :))))


End file.
